What Do I Really Want?

More than twenty years ago in the 80’s, when I was pursuing my degree in Computer Science in the United States, I saw a commercial on TV that said something like, “Be the best that you can be” about encouraging teenagers to get enlisted into the Army. The commercial basically promotes the vast career possibilities to be pursued by aspiring teenagers. Although it has been decades since I last saw the commercial but those very words had some profound effects as to how I would see myself from then on. Consciously, I began asking myself what and who do I want to be? Am I on the right path of being that person I want to be? Subconsciously, I began to search for the answers.

At the tender age of 20’s I began on a personal voyage to find the answers to my daunting questions. I might not have lost sleep over it. I might not have chosen the life of a hermit to look for the answers. Nevertheless, I was looking for answers that I believe would give me a sense of purpose in living. I was looking for answers that would give me a sense of direction. I sought answers that would give me a sense of self-esteem and self-actualization. I wanted answers that would help me to make the right mould and continue to churn the right product.

Of course, I do realize that making the right product is just part of the search. I need to first of all understand whether or not I was clearing the right jungle. I need to know whether or not I was climbing the right wall. At this point, I may not want to deliberate on this matter because it is quite a complex issue to elaborate. For the sake of simplicity lets just leave those things as they are and focus on the issues of “what do I want from life?”

It was not until sometime in 1995 when a friend who was in the insurance business invited me to deliver a lecture to a group of insurance agents about the meaning of commitments for excellence. I was very comfortable with the invitation because lecturing has always been my cup of tea. After being a lecturer for seven years at a local university, lecturing comes naturally to me. But then again, this was different. My audiences were aspiring individuals seeking some form of an inspiration to burn their desire, reasons that could drive them to scale greater heights of achievements and who wanted to go out there and produce immediate results. They did not need concepts. They were not looking for theories. They were not looking for some textbook definitions or explanations. They were not going to listen to me so that they could pass some examinations. This was not an academic exercise. This was real life! While I was trying to gather my thoughts to decide on what to talk about, a familiar question that was once playing like an old tune of yesteryears came humming into my mind … “what do I want and who do I want to be?” That was when the twists and turns started to unfold. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle started to come together. And with a sigh of revelation I realized that we only need two things that could unravel the whole enigma. And those two things are no other than SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS.

Note : This article was taken from my book "Success, Happiness and Performance : They are within our control" which was published in 2007 by Pekan Ilmu Publications.